It’s hard not to look elsewhere for validation. For someone else to take responsibility for us. To want everyone else back us up on our thoughts, beliefs, words and actions.
But, if you’ve been paying attention throughout your life, you’ve probably noticed this never really works.
So, why do so many of us still live our lives hoping that we can control others and the outside world in this way?
Well, after recognising this in myself and working through a lot of limiting beliefs and ideas I had about the world and my place in it, I came to understand on an alarmingly deep level how conditioned I was.
And once I noticed how deep this went for myself, I noticed it in other people.
I noticed patterns and behaviours people repeatedly acted on. And found that almost everyone I knew or met was acting because of the conditioning of their life – to expect the outside world to hold them accountable in life.
Time and time again we fall short because our perspectives are pointing outward instead of inward.
We think we have to rely on outside forces or sources to met all our needs and support us in all our actions, no matter what they be.
But none of us, not one of us, has any control over anything, accept our inner self. Our mental and emotional bodies are ours to mould, create, shift, and take care of.
We have the soul responsibility of our own minds.
Now, for some this can feel like a heavy burden to carry. And if you’ve never noticed this before it can be quite a shock.
But, think about it; once you accept that you’ve got to look after yourself and be responsible for your own actions and what outcomes you wish to have in life, rather than looking for everyone else to do it for you, you’ll notice that the energy you used to spend looking outside and then stressing because it didn’t work out, will now be free for you to focus on your inner world.
You’ll be able to hold yourself accountable.
And in doing this you’ll know that the only true responsibility you have is to yourself and your reactions to the world around you.
Once you’re conscious of this fact you can relax and know that you are also not responsibly for anyone else’s accountability.
Don’t get me wrong, focussing on yourself in this way does not mean completely letting go of other responsibilities. You may have responsibilities outside of yourself which require attention, such as caring for children, and that’s ok and necessary.
Constant dependance on other people is the issue.
And on the flip-side, taking too much care of others while ignoring your personal responsibilities is not ok.
If you are constantly, and blindly, being responsible for someone else, who is not holding themselves accountable or responsible, then you are neglecting your own accountability.
It all comes down to balance and making sure that you have enough time and energy to keep yourself on track. This is no one else’s business or job. You’ve got to do it for yourself. Wether within the work you do and making sure you meet deadlines, meetings, and finish projects, or in your health and well-being, your home life, or within your community.
Because, when we all take notice of what is our responsibility, we commit to holding ourselves accountable, and in turn this supports the collective as a whole.
So, in the bigger picture;
When you look after yourself, you’re looking after everybody.