Documenting your fears when they arise, and how you transmute or overcome them can be an important life lesson, and a useful mental tool to look back on in the future.
I’ve come to notice that however much we may deny or try to control it, most of us live our lives, still, governed by fear.
But what would it be to live a life free from fear. I don’t know about you, but I’d happily live a fear freed life.
Have you ever felt happiness and fear at the same time? Have you ever known courage and fear together? What about love?
All these things which enrich our lives don’t work if there is fear present.
And all of these things take a little risk. Well, risk is not control. Risk is scary. Risk isn’t safe.
So fear pops up and says, ‘Hey, don’t do that! I’ll protect you. I’ll keep you safe, just don’t jump, take that leap. Don’t take that risk.’
We have somehow gotten into the habit of trusting fear. But fear is a bully. It is unproductive, loud and manipulating.
However, the only way fear survives is if we feed it. It survives on self-doubt. When we give it this, it takes it and takes over.
Fear in its essence is a perceived loss of control, so we end up giving fear the control.
We tell fear that it’s right and give it strength.
But fear is only a perception. It is our mind thinking there is a loss of control and we panic.
Fear drains life. It drains our energy, as well as being a controling emotion, it turns us into control freaks. Demanding that we attempt to control ourselves and all outside relaity.
This of course, is an impossible feat.
But we do have control over one thing.
You can stop fear as it tries to take you over, by remembering that you have a choice to let it it go.
In that moment as you feel fear spiking within you, you can take a breath. In that moment you can slow down. Take a moment to observe the emotion of fear. And ask yourself; why am I feeling fear? What is making me feel fear?
By stopping and questioning it simply as an observer, you are giving yourself time and space to put out the fire of fear.
Becoming the watcher of your fear emotion gives you room to transmute it and work out if it is self manifested fear or inauthentic fear, or real rational authentic fear.
When we take the time to mindfully consider if we are creating the fear within us we can accept it and learn to let it go.
Sometimes fear is rational though; experiencing fear while walking in the woods and being confronted with a bear is rational and authentic.
So fear itself is not ‘wrong’ we have just sadly become slaves to being scared and this stops us from truly living.
Where does fear flow from?
It flows from the question we all ask ourselves; ‘Do I matter?’
For the record, yes, you do.
But for some reason many of us believe or have believed for a long time that we don’t matter. That we are not worthy. That we are not appreciated or liked.
A great lace to start letting go of fear is to stop worrying what other’s may or may not think of you.
Worrying also feeds fear. Worrying created a false sense of self and leaves you empty and panicked. Never sell yourself out seeking to be liked by others.
So much of insignificance in life stems from our outer perception of life and what we think it should mean, and attempting to craft a perfect outer life for others to praise, recognise, congratulate, applaud, or envy.
We are each given free lives as we come into this world, but we create our own personal prisons if we give into fear.
Fear is a prison. But only if we let it be.
We all deserve to live freely, naturally, without fear. There is no need for fear if we are brave, confident and sure of ourselves.
But when we are living from a place of fear we cannot give to others.
When we fear we cannot trust or love fully. These things demand risk and faith.
Choose faith and take risk. You deserve that, you really do. And your life is too much of a sacred thing to waste living a life fueled by fear.
Thankfully, you don’t need to listen to fear. You never need to hold yourself back because of fear, or act from a place of fear either.
The best way to overcome fear is to have the courage to serve others. So play a bigger game than yourself, reach out and help other people.
It doesn’t matter however small an act it may seem, it matters that you act.
Take time to notice how you put out the flame of fear. Ask yourself questions about the experience; how did things shift for you? What did you notice? How do you feel now, both mentally and physically?
Thinking about this and writing it down is a necessary part of resolving fears. Even if it feels silly or unnatural to write about it, it’s worth it to better understand yourself and how fear is rooted in your self.
Recognising fears, observing them, and being aware of them are huge steps in the process of letting go of them. Practise writing down your experiences and seeing how it helps you is just as important as taking action to shift your fears.
So be a part of this brave new word; let go of fear, and act from a place of connect, empowerment and courage. Live with integrity and trust in your worth, strength, ability and power. Learn who you are called to be a live authentically through that purpose.
Once you do this you’ll gain a level of confidence and know how to live fully, without fear, always.